


“No Exceptions”

by PeakyGirl



Series: Lizzie and Tommy [2]
Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: 1920s, Comfort, Drinking, Emotional, F/M, Heartache, Heartbreak, Hurt/Comfort, Lizzie needs a hug, Love, Period-Typical Sexism, Prostitution, Sad, Sexual Violence, Smoking, Swearing, Tommy is a twat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:55:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26538454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeakyGirl/pseuds/PeakyGirl
Summary: “No exceptions”Tommy had once told Lizzie those exact words yet why was she sitting here with blood decorating her thighs and an ache within her heart. The promise he made to her was now dust in the wind, replaced by the agony that now radiated through her like a ticking bomb.(This one shot takes place after the events of Epsom)
Relationships: Tommy Shelby/Lizzie Stark
Series: Lizzie and Tommy [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1774402
Comments: 4
Kudos: 33





	“No Exceptions”

The water had ran cold hours ago yet she continued to scrub her skin raw. Pain rippled through her like lightning cracklings through the sky and gripped her heart and mind in a unyielding hold. She felt as if her very life was being choked from her and while the water gently lapped around below her breasts the frightening feeling of drowning pulled her into the depths of despair.

With blue lips and wide eyes Lizzie stared down into the murky water at her bloodied thighs. She had washed them over and over until there was nothing but pale abused skin staring up at her yet every time her glare washed over her thighs she saw nothing but blood decorated skin, skin that was marked with his touch.

_“You can stop the other work too Lizzie. All of it, this time. No exceptions”_

No exceptions!

Letting out a choked gasp Lizzie gripped the edge of the tub and sank her head beneath the water, closing her eyes tightly as Tommy’s words swarmed her head. Her face scrunched up bitterly, tears mixed with bathwater and her aching muscles became tense with fury.

He was a liar!

Tommy was a fucking liar!

Opening her mouth Lizzie screamed as hard as she could, letting out some of the pain that was tearing through her heart. A rush of water surging into the back of her throat caused Lizzie to jump up quickly allowing the water to splash out and hit the fire in front of her. As it fireplace sizzled she leaned over the tub and proceeded to empty the contents of her stomach.

Lizzie stayed in the water until she was certain her body was completely frozen over, she needed to feel some kind of numbness, a numbness that would allow her to move freely without the constant ache between her thighs. Her home was a mask of darkness and in that the moment, as she stood in the dark, Lizzie truly felt alone. She had no family, no friends that she could say were reliable, no one. There was no one to care for her, only herself. John tried and she was grateful but he was still Tommy’s brother and Lizzie couldn’t open up to him like she wanted to. This wasn’t a world Lizzie wanted to be lonely in yet it seemed she would have no choice in the matter.

Stumbling her way into the bedroom Lizzie threw herself down on the bed and laid completely still. All that could be heard was the sound of her breathing growing heavier and heavier as she stared out the window at the moon which seemed to cast its glare upon her.

_“You’ll always be nothing but a whore”_

Her mother had spoken those words the day she had took Lizzie by the hair and flung her out of the house after becoming aware of how Lizzie managed to put food on the table. Her Mother had been right, Lizzie was nothing but a whore, to be used and passed around like she were nothing, it was all she’d ever be. Even the man who helped her escaped had now whored her out in order to gain something.

Was she truly a game to these men?

Did they think she didn’t hurt too?

Lizzie’s happiness had been at its peak over the last year since she began working for Tommy. She believed she was finally getting somewhere and she would prove her Mother wrong by succeeding in a way Lizzie never thought possible.

And then Tommy had betrayed her in the worst possible way and sent her tumbling down.

It felt like ants were running beneath Lizzie’s skin as her gut churned once again. She could feel his breath on her cheek and the feeling of his hand harshly rubbing her sex in an attempt to prepare her for what was to come. The pain she had felt as he violently thrusted into her from behind was a pain Lizzie would truly never forget. It wasn’t supposed to happen that way, Tommy was meant to reach her in time but like every other promise that had slipped from his lips, it had been an absolute lie.

Clawing at her skin, Lizzie tried to erase his touch yet each time she dug her nails into her skin, the more present he became. Bringing her hands out to clutch her bedsheets Lizzie wept until the first rays of sunlight pierced her sore eyes.

Blinking, Lizzie slowly pulled herself off the bed, her muscles screaming in protest as she did so. Looking into the long mirror that rested against her wall Lizzie caught sight of herself. Her face was pale, her eyes scarlet red and her cheeks puffy from the dark hours she’d spent crying. Her naked form was littered in both light and deep scratches. Lifting her hand Lizzie ran her fingers over them and watched them slowly begin to bleed as her hands brushed away the bloody scabs that had formed. Every bit of Lizzie’s skin was sore. All but the ache between her legs and the agony in her heart had been her own doing. She had clawed at her skin until there appeared to be no spare skin left to claw. Lifting her hands up Lizzie saw a mixture of blood and skin resting within her nails, staring up at her in judgment and sadness. Even her own body seemed to be feeling sorry for her. Willing herself not to cry again Lizzie began to drag her feet across the floor and headed straight for the kitchen. On the table rested a bottle of whiskey she’d purchased recently. Lizzie was glad she had chosen to leave it unopened, it gave her something to look forward too. She was going to open it on Sunday but Lizzie was needing it now, today would just have to be her Sunday. Grabbing the bottle she quickly opened it and brought it up to her lips where she desperately began to drink its contents. The whiskey hit her throat like a raging fire and Lizzie welcomed it open heartedly. This was all the comfort she needed, fuck everyone else who sought to use her.

Lizzie finally felt the numbness she had been looking for as she sat at the kitchen table, whiskey bottle in hand and a warmth running through her veins. She could no longer feel that mans touch slithering across her skin and all the pain she felt had been washed away with the whiskey. It would only return later but for now Lizzie would take peace in drinking away her sorrows.

_“I’ll get to you before it starts, I promise”_

Oh how Lizzie wished she could go back and break her glass in his eyes. She should of went through with her threats and turned her back on him like he had always done with her. Lifting up her bottle, Lizzie smiled bitterly.

“ _ **Here’s to you Tommy! You selfish little prick!**_ ”

And with that she wished him an eternity of misery and suffering. If Lizzie was going down, then so was Tommy.

Tommy didn’t pay no mind when Lizzie didn’t turn up to work the day after the races, in fact everyone had been given the day off. Despite it being strange not to have his morning cup of tea Lizzie always prepared him Tommy enjoyed the silence running throughout the office. A part of him wanted to phone Lizzie and make sure she was alright after yesterday. She had been hurt because of him but Lizzie was made of iron and Tommy truly believed she would be alright in time. For now Tommy would keep his distance, he didn’t want to be the cause of further pain to her and if Lizzie were to see him now she would shoot him on the spot without hesitation. Tommy wouldn’t say he didn’t deserve it, he knew he was a bastard and he knew he deserved every bit of Lizzie’s anger, Tommy had went back on his word after all.

Lizzie’s desk remained empty for six days before Tommy picked up the telephone and decided to phone her. The office was failing greatly without her but it wasn’t that which had Tommy concerned, it was the lack of her presence. No one had heard from Lizzie or seen her since Epsom and Tommy admittedly was worried for the dark haired woman. As he sat there at his desk waiting to be put through to Lizzie, Tommy could feel his heart thudding within his chest. Tommy wasn’t often lost for words but right now his tongue remained dry and empty, he had no idea what he could even say to Lizzie.

Tommy wouldn’t have to think of what to say as the operator informed him that there was no answer on Lizzie’s side. For the rest of the day Tommy remained by the telephone, attempting many times to get through to Lizzie’s home. No work was done despite the many hours he spent in the office, his mind was just too preoccupied.

Tommy didn’t quite understand his urgency to get through to Lizzie or the way his insides fluttered at the thought of hearing her voice and knowing she was ok. It wasn’t until the end of the day that Tommy realised it was because he cared. Of course he cared for Lizzie, she had been in his life for many years as someone he used to fuck and seek comfort in and now as someone he considered to be a part of his family.

Deciding it wouldn’t be enough to keep phoning Tommy gathered up his things and made his way out of the office. He would go to Lizzie instead and if she shot him it would be his own fault.

“ _ **No! No! No!**_ ” Lizzie sobbed, her voice filled with panic and dread as she stared down at the empty bottle of whiskey. She had finally ran out of the very thing that was helping her cope.

What would she do now?

The thought of going outside terrified her. She didn’t want anyone to see her especially the Shelby’s, Lizzie couldn’t face any of them. Even thinking of the Shelby name caused her body to shake in anger. She could see Tommy’s blue eyes in her mind, looking at her in pity and she wanted nothing more than to gauge them out. Holding onto her hair, Lizzie pulled tightly and tried to steady her breathing as her heart thudded in panic.

“ _Come on Lizzie you can do this! This isn’t the first time! You’ve done it before you can do it now!_ ” She sneered to herself, continuing to pull on her hair and laying back down on her bed, bottle resting at her feet Lizzie started to count backwards from one hundred until felt calmer and her heart didn’t feel ready to burst in her chest.

It wasn’t the first time a man had forced them self upon Lizzie. It had happened when she was new to being a prostitute. She hasn’t known any better and thought it something every sex worker had to go through in order to be paid. It didn’t matter how bad it got, getting paid was all that mattered to Lizzie at the time. It wasn’t until she working frequently that Lizzie realised it wasn’t ok for a man to rape her, whether he was paying to use her or not it was never ok and that’s when Lizzie put a stop to the attacks and began to pick the men carefully. Back when she was being forced upon Lizzie was able to overcome it and go back to work the next day with a smile on her face and a determination in her heart to feed her family yet Lizzie couldn’t overcome the events of Epsom day.

It wasn’t the rape that hurt her the most, it was her broken heart. The man she loved, the man she adored had put her in a dangerous situation and all but ripped her heart from her chest, for business. That’s all it was business. Lizzie was feeling betrayed, she was hurt and the love she had for Tommy wasn’t enough for her to put on a brave smile and go to work. She would never forgive him and she would never forget what he did which is why she had refused every phone call that came from his office. Lizzie didn’t want to speak to Tommy or even lay eyes upon his face.

Lizzie let out a small yelp at the sound of someone banging on her door. The day was late, no one had a reason to be at her home except for her. Coming to sit on the edge of her bed Lizzie waited for whoever it was to go away. She didn’t want no visitors, she just wanted to stay in her room and never leave. The world was too cruel, Thomas Shelby was too cruel.

“ **LIZZIE!** ”

“ **COME ON LIZZIE! I KNOW YOU’RE IN THERE!** ”

Hearing Tommy’s voice call out to her, Lizzie immediately teared up and began to sob uncontrollably.

Why was he here?!

Harshly wiping her tears away Lizzie bit down on her fist and made a bad attempt to stop crying yet the tears continued to flow widely down her face until her nightdress was soaked and sticking to her skin.

“ **Lizzie please! I just need to see if you’re orright!** ”

Alright!

Fucking alright!

Picking up the glass bottle from her bed Lizzie stormed over to the window and opening it up she blindly threw the bottle out, hoping with all her might that it would hit him.

“ **FUCK OFF!** ” She screamed sticking her head out the window as the bottle smashed against the ground and looking down she stared at Tommy with a hatred she didn’t think was possible.

There he was, the man she loved and Lizzie hated him. She hated herself for still loving him.

To her bitter disappointment she saw that Tommy had swiftly stepped out the way to avoid being hit by the bottle and looking back up at her she saw his eyes fill with sadness and pity.

“ **Do not fuckin’ give me that look! I swear to God Thomas it will be a knife I throw next** ” Lizzie spat slamming her hands against the windowsill, her eyes growing darker the more she took in his face.

“ ** _Lizzie look M’sorry, I broke me promise I know and I know M’not worthy of your forgiveness but I want you to see how sorry I am. I’m a bastard Lizzie, always ‘ave been yet I would never intentionally hurt you, it wasn’t part of the plan. I was held up but it’s not an excuse. Lizzie just open the door so I can speak to you properly_** ” Tommy pleaded with Lizzie as he took in her tear soaked face and heavy dark eyes. If he looked closer he could see the sick that had dried in her hair and the dark scratches that littered her delicate form. Lizzie was the smallest Tommy had even seen her and he was worried about her, about her health. He wanted to help but the look she gave him told him everything he needed to know. Lizzie wouldn’t let him help her, she would pluck out his eyes and feed them to the birds.

“ _ **You’re not sorry Tommy, you’re never sorry. You used me for business, for fuckin’ business**_ ” Lizzie cried going to close the window and block him out until he finally disappeared.

“I did use you for business Lizzie but I am sorry it wasn’t...fuck..it wasn’t sup”

“ _You made me a whore Tommy, all your sorries will never make me forgive you_ ” Lizzie whispered, no longer angry, just completely heartbroken.

“I won’t leave until you do Lizzie girl” Tommy stated “I’ll be ‘ere everyday until you let me in”

“You’ll be waitin’ a long time Tommy”

And with that Lizzie brought her head back inside and closed the window with a deafening slam leaving Tommy standing below, watching as she closed her curtains on him.   
  
  


True to his word and to Lizzie’s surprise, Tommy appeared beneath Lizzie’s window each night after work. First he would try knocking on the door, hoping that she would let him inside and perhaps even allow him to fetch a doctor to watch over her. When Lizzie refused to open the door, Tommy would step back and stare up at her window until she appeared with the same look of disgust she gave him every time. It wouldn’t deter Tommy, she could curse and spit at him all she wanted but he would continue to be there until the door opened. He had thought about using his spare key to open the thing many times, he always had it tucked safely within his suit pocket. Lizzie had given it to him so he could just walk in whenever he felt like visiting her.

It was Lizzie’s broken face that stopped him using the spare key, he didn’t want to push her further away and he didn’t want her to look at him like she loathed his entire existence, like he was some cruel stranger who she had no care for.

Lizzie was not going to let him inside, she didn’t believe he was sorry at all. She knew the office was going through a slight rough patch, one of the girls had phoned her and told Lizzie. Tommy only wanted Lizzie’s forgiveness in the hopes she’ll go back to work and do her job whilst turning a blind eye to Tommy’s dealing. Lizzie was trust worthy and close within the family, that’s why he wanted her forgiveness so everything could go back to normal and he didn’t have to hire a new secretary. It all came down to business like always but not this time. As far as Lizzie was concerned Thomas Shelby could take his job and shove it up his arse. She didn’t need his money and she certainly didn’t need him.

That’s when the gifts started.

Two weeks Tommy had appeared outside of Lizzie’s with his apologies and for two weeks she had refused them. Then as she watched him from the window Lizzie noticed Tommy placing something on her doorstep before waving goodbye with a small smile. She disliked Tommy’s innocent boy smile, she didn’t like the way it made her heart flutter. Tommy was far from innocent and she shouldn’t be stupid enough to fall for it, it would only end with her being in more pain. The physical pain Lizzie felt from the attack had all but disappeared, she had healed fairly quickly but was left feeling utterly exhausted and miserable as the pain on the inside would not let up and Lizzie couldn’t bring herself to try.

Pulling herself away from the window once Tommy had disappeared down the street Lizzie tiptoed to her front door and quietly opened it, wincing as it creaked and echoed throughout the house. On her doorstep this time was a bouquet of flowers ranging in colours and kind. They were everything she wasn’t feeling, beautiful, vibrant, full of life and colour. Bringing them up to her face Lizzie inhaled their scent with a tired sigh.

“ _Lizzie_ ” She heard him call out and snapped her head up she saw Tommy standing in front of her.

Clutching the flowers to her chest Lizzie let out a small gasp. He had disappeared, she had watched him leave.

How did he get back without her seeing him?

“M’sorry” Tommy expressed looking deeply guilty and taking a step towards her he held his hands up in a peaceful gesture like he were trying to tame a wild horse.

Biting down on her lip Lizzie brought her hand out and as quick as a flash proceeded to slap him across the face, feeling satisfied as a loud crack thundered through the air and her palm stung in delight.

“You deserved that” Lizzie stated with a glare still holding onto her flowers, her chin high up in the air.

“Yeah....I did” He nodded, his jaw clenching as he accepted Lizzie’s slap. He had to hand it to her, it was a good slap, Tommy was certain his brain had rattled in his skull.

“Goodbye Tommy” Lizzie bit out, gripping the front door with one hand, resisting the urge to smile at Tommy’s now scarlet cheek.

“See you tomorrow Liz” Tommy grunted flashing her a wink as he turned around and walked away from the house.

Two months later

Lizzie didn’t know what to do. Her money had all but ran out, there was barely enough to feed her never mind pay the rent. She was in a desperate situation and she couldn’t go to Tommy. She couldn’t bring herself to depend on him despite his daily visits to her front door. Lizzie knew she couldn’t stay locked up inside for much longer, she had to find a job and quickly before she found herself on the streets.

“ **Fuck sake!** ” She snapped, her voice trembling as she slammed the front door behind her. Another failed interview, another job she wouldn’t get. All week she had tried to find someone to hire her but it appeared no one wanted her or already had too many workers. Lizzie couldn’t even be hired to be a cleaner never mind another mans secretary.

Crumpling up the job advertisement page in the newspaper Lizzie threw it to the ground with a frustrated scream. She just wanted to get her life back on track, she couldn’t live like this anymore.

Pulling onto the ends of her hair, Lizzie headed for her bedroom, all hope lost and a heaviness on her shoulders. Upon entering the room Lizzie looked at herself in the mirror. Her clothes were now starting to hang off her, her face was sharp and sunken in. Lizzie was hungry and she was scared. She just wanted some help, some care but no one cared for Lizzie.

“ _No one loves you Lizzie girl, you only have you_ ” She whispered, a stray tear running down her face and dripping off the edge of her cheekbone and onto her blouse.

_“You’ll always be nothing but a whore”_

Her Mother’s voice echoed again in her head as Lizzie continued to stare at her reflection.

“ _A whore_ ” The word tasted bitter on her tongue like it was poison not meant to be there.

Prostitution, it had been the only thing Lizzie had found success in before Tommy. It was the only thing she was good at, the only thing she had control over. She would always be nothing but a whore in everyone’s eyes, even Tommy’s so why stop.

“You need the money” She croaked out to herself in a twisted way to provide herself with reassurance. Lizzie could do this, she had to do this. It was time to put food on the table and keep a roof over her head, she needed to look out for herself in the only way she knew how to.

She would start tomorrow and pay the rent she owed. With a nod of her head Lizzie turned away from the mirror and slumped down on her bed.

How had her life came to this again?   
  


The next night Lizzie had put on her finest dress. It was one Tommy had gifted once she began working for him. The dress was beautiful, too beautiful to wear but it would help her catch the attention of possible clients. Her makeup was heavy, masking the exhaustion beneath and the rogue on her cheeks made Lizzie look alive, like she had eaten within the last week. She looked enchanting and Lizzie wanted nothing more than to rip her dress off and climb into bed. She didn’t want to do this, she didn’t want to bring these men into her home and allow them to have their way with her. She didn’t want to be pressed against the rough bricks of the nearest alley or have everyone stare at her like she was filth, like she deserved to be used.

It had to be done, there was no other way for Lizzie.

So with a forced smile on her face and a chill through her body Lizzie reluctantly stepped out the comfort of her own home and onto the streets of Small Heath.

The sun was beginning to set but the air was still warm, it was mid summer after all. Lizzie enjoyed the way the heat made her cheeks flush and fill her with warmth despite the cold feeling that was rushing through her. Her stomach was pooled with dread and regret but also acceptance. Lizzie would never truly be free of this life no matter how hard she tried to change it. People just didn’t want to give her a chance, there was only Tommy who had and that had ended in tears. His present today had been a fine bottle of wine which Lizzie grateful managed to drink half of. It had given her some courage to step out the door and make her way to her old spot. All the girls she used to work with had their own spots around Small Heath. The rule was that they would never invade or try to work from each other’s spots, to do so would be stealing another woman’s income. Lizzie just hoped hers was still free, if not she would leave. She would never steal another woman’s money no matter how desperate she become. Some of the women had children to feed whereas Lizzie only had herself.

Luckily Lizzie’s spot remained bare and ready to be worked from. A part of her was disappointed, she wanted a reason to turn around and go home. She didn’t want to be back in this world, having men grunt in her ear each night only to throw coins at her like she should be grateful they touched her.

Coming to stand in her usual place, Lizzie opened up her purse and ran her fingers along the gun she had brought along. Lizzie would do this work but she would never let a man take her by force ever again, she would put a bullet between their eyes. She stared at the gun for a few moments before reaching for her cigarettes and matchsticks, pulling them out and closing her purse. A calmness washed over her knowing she would be able to defend herself this time. Lighting a cigarette she took a long drag and sighed pleasantly as the nicotine and smoke rushed through her and filled her lungs with a deadly release.

It didn’t take long for a car to pull up beside Lizzie and as the window went down Lizzie laid eyes on one of her old clients, David. He was always nice and gentle with Lizzie and always made sure to pay her well. He was unmarried with no kids and lonely just like her which is why Lizzie had always took comfort in him whenever he came to her home.

“Hey Lizzie!” David greeted with a large friendly smile, his eyes scanning her form.

“Hey David!” Lizzie replied keeping her false grin attached to her face. For some reason Lizzie didn’t feel happy to see him.

Why had he turned up?

“You workin’ again Liz?” Came the question Lizzie knew was coming. David may have been friendly but she knew when a man was undressing her with their eyes.

“ _Say yes! Yes Lizzie! Just take him home and be done with it_ ” An inner voice demanded as Lizzie’s tongue froze in place and her body began to tremble.

“Oh no sorry David I don’t do that sort of thing anymore, m’ just waitin’ for one of the girls to get off so we can go for a drink” Lizzie lied through her teeth, her heart hammering within her chest.

She couldn’t do it, she just couldn’t!

“Orright, be careful Liz, standin’ there will attract the wrong kind of attention” David frowned before rolling up his window and driving off before Lizzie could utter another word.

“ _Well done Lizzie!_ ” She sneered at herself and leaning up against the wall she looked up to the sky and cursed into the air.

How would she pay for her rent now?

If she couldn’t do this job then what could she do in order to survive?

Perhaps it was time for Lizzie to leave Small Heath and get as far away from it as she could. The town brought her nothing but misery, there was no reason to stay, no reason at all.

“ **Lizzie? The fuck are you doin’ out ‘ere ey?!** ”

Turning her head to the side Lizzie shook her head and scoffed loudly.

“ **Oh fuck off Tommy! It’s got nothin’ to do with you** ” Lizzie barked shifting her body so she didn’t have to look at him for longer than she had to.

It was just her luck that Thomas Shelby would happen upon her when she was at her lowest. If he dared to pass his judgment Lizzie would happily draw out gun and shoot him in the balls.

“ **Are you fuckin’ working Lizzie? Are you doin’ this again?** ” Tommy demanded coming to stand in front of her, his head a mere inch from resting on hers.

Tommy always had the ability to make Lizzie feel small, like a tiny baby mouse under his stare. It made her feel safe except for now, she was furious.

“ **Yeah so what if I am Tommy hmm? Are you goin’ to tell me not to? Are you goin’ to give me some shit about doin’ better? Maybe some false promises, I know how much you love ‘em! Now please just go away!** ” Lizzie screeched lifting her hands up and pushing against his chest as hard as her aching muscles would allow her.

“ **Come on Lizzie!** ” Tommy hissed taking her by the wrist and pulling her towards the direction of her home.

“ **Let go of me Tommy, I swear I’ll scream!** ”

Her eyes were beginning to tear up. She felt embarrassed to have him catch her but also angry that it was his actions that brought her here. It was all Tommy’s doing!

“ **Then fuckin’ scream Lizzie go right ahead and let it out!** ”

Bringing up the purse that held her gun Lizzie began to hit Tommy with all her might, tears flowing freely as she did so.

“ **Fuck sake Lizzie! Stop it! Lizzie fuckin’ stop!** ” Tommy protested taking her purse and throwing it into the street.

“ _ **THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! YOU DID THIS TO ME YOU BASTARD! I’M ‘ERE BECAUSE OF YOU! YOU USED ME AS A FUCKIN’ WHORE FOR YOUR OWN SELFISH FUCKIN’ REASONS AND NOW LOOK AT ME! YOU MADE ME NOTHIN’, YOU MADE ME DO THIS! I HATE YOU TOMMY SHELBY! I hate you**...I hate you_” Lizzie sobbed, raining her fist down on his chest until she felt as if she were suffocating under her hurt.

Wrapping his arms around her back Tommy quickly pulled Lizzie into his embrace and resting his chin on top of her head he held her tightly whilst she cried.

“M’sorry Lizzie, fuck M’sorry” Tommy managed to get out as he gently swayed her and placed a gentle kiss upon the crown of her head.

“ _I hate you_ ” Lizzie sniffled, hating herself for getting lost and falling into his embrace. She didn’t want to seek any sort of comfort from him but being in his arms melted away the walls she had put up around herself. She didn’t want to admit that she needed Tommy, she was supposed to hate him.

“Come on lets get you home”

Keeping his arms wrapped tightly around her Tommy left Lizzie’s purse in the street and began to guide her back home.

“ _Being nice to me won’t make me come back Tommy_ ” Lizzie whispered finding herself wrapping an arm around his back before she could think about what she was doing.

“I know Lizzie girl” Tommy chuckled lightly as he stared at her bunched up face. It was the face she always pulled when she was crying and trying to force herself to stop. In this moment she appeared as a child looking for help and Tommy felt his throat tighten as he tried to swallow the lump that began to choke him.

God, he had all but destroyed Lizzie. Here was a woman who he knew loved him and he had completely betrayed her and used her in the worst possible way without a care at the time. Tommy thought of the baby growing within Grace’s womb.

What if it was a girl?

Tommy wouldn’t hesitate to kill any man who dared to try and break his daughter like he had done to Lizzie over the years. He hoped his child would never find a person like him to love.   
  


For the first time since Epsom Tommy stepped through Lizzie’s front door using the spare key within his pocket and locking it behind him. Lizzie didn’t protest and instead just gave him a defeated look, she was done trying to make him stay away.

“I was expecting a mess to be truthful Liz” Tommy cleared his throat as he took a long look around Lizzie’s home.

“Please Tommy, I may ‘ave been a mess but I wouldn’t leave me house in one” Lizzie informed him, slightly offended by his remark. He knew how Lizzie liked to keep things clean, she wasn’t a caged animal.

Walking down the hall and into her bedroom Lizzie took a seat on the edge of the bed and began to take her heels off, a grunt of pleasure escaping her lips as her feet cried out in relief.

“Will you ever forgive me Lizzie?” Tommy asked coming to take a seat next to her and watching as she flexed her feet before bringing them up onto the bed and resting her chin on her knees.

“No Tommy....but I don’t hate you....I could never” Lizzie sighed deeply and closing her eyes she cursed herself for loving the man sat beside her.

“What can I do?” Tommy wondered shifting himself closer to her and reaching up he gently brushed away some of the hair resting on Lizzie’s cheek.

“Nothin’ Tommy, what can you give someone who’s heart hurts?” Lizzie laughed miserably opening her eyes again and gripping the hand touching her hair “Tommy...I cant let you use me again”

“Lizzie..I can do better by you just come back to m....to work. Give me a chance ey? Tommy smiled softly stuttering over his words.

Come back to me.....

Is what Tommy really wanted to say?

He didn’t want to lose Lizzie, she was too important to him, not to the business but to him. Tommy was selfish, he loved Grace but yet he couldn’t bring himself to let Lizzie go. He needed her to love him, he wanted her to love him.

“ _I can’t Tommy_ ”

Pulling his hand from hers Tommy gently ran the back of it down her cheek before standing up with a cough. He had lost her truly this time, Lizzie was no longer his.

“ _Lizzie?_ ” His voice was just above a whisper as he looked down at her.

Lifting her head Lizzie stared back at him with a soft hum, her eyes filled with unshod tears.

“ _Can I kiss you?_ ”   
  
  


A soft gasp left her lips as his words sunk in. Fiddling with her fingers Lizzie stood up and looked deeply into the eyes she loved so much. She shouldn’t let him, she couldn’t let him back in, nevertheless Lizzie swallowed harshly and nodded her head.

Cupping her cheek Tommy brushed away a stray tear and leaning forwards he captured his lips with hers. The kiss was gentle and soft yet just as equally gut wrenching. Tommy stayed there for a moment, lost within her sweetness and bitter tears. He found himself unwilling to pull away but feeling Lizzie take a step back Tommy broke the kiss and continued to cup her cheek for a moment before dropping his hand and smiling.

“Goodbye Lizzie girl”

Turning away Tommy headed for the door.

“Wait Tommy!” Lizzie called out causing him to freeze and glance at her over his shoulder “Mary tells me you’re havin’ a baby with Grace....congratulations”

“Thank you Lizzie, Goodnight. Office opens at eight if you change your mind”

And with that Tommy left the room leaving Lizzie all alone. It wasn’t until the front door shut that Lizzie began to weep once again.

“You’re late, office opens at eight” Lizzie muttered as continued to look down, focused on her writing.

Tommy froze in his spot at the entrance leading into the office believing his eyes to be deceiving him. Lizzie was there, sat her her desk working, her hair bouncing as her writing hand glided across her paper. Relief hit Tommy, she was safely back in his office, she wasn’t out on the streets doing something she hated.

“You came back” He pointed out continuing to stare at her and feeling his eyes burning into her head Lizzie looked up and threw her pencil down.

“Despite what happened I do love working for you Tommy. I love this office and I love the people ‘ere plus this is the only job I can get in this fuckin’ city. Only you are foolish enough to hire me so I thought why not? But use me again and I will kill you” She spoke plainly with a shrug of her shoulders.

“It’s because I know how much potential to have to be great Liz” Tommy replied truthfully and shaking her head Lizzie rolled her eyes.

“Whatever you say Tom, m’ just ‘ere to turn the other way. You better go prepare yourself, you ‘ave a meetin’ at ten” Lizzie all but ordered as she lifted her hand and waved him away.

Nodding his head Tommy left Lizzie to continue working and walked into his office without a word. He didn’t want to say anything that would provoke her anger, they were in a delicate stage together.

Biting down on the end of her pencil Lizzie looked over her writing for mistakes. She had a lot of letters to write out and then type in order to send them off Tommy. It felt good to be back, her mind was distracted, she didn’t feel so alone in her own head.

As she continued to read she heard something hit her desk with a gentle thud and glancing up she saw a hand pouring her a cup of tea. Running her eyes up the hand Lizzie found herself staring into the face of Tommy.

“ _Morning tea_ ” She whispered to herself feeling that familiar flutter in her heart. She had always been the once to make it.

Tommy knew how she liked it, milky with four sugar cubes. It was sickly to him but Lizzie had the sweetest tooth out of the pair of them.

“Welcome back Lizzie girl” He grinned tapping the spoon on the edge of her cup before turning and walking back into his office.

“ _Thank you Tommy_ ”

For the first time in a few months Lizzie felt the side of her mouth lift into a smile as she stared down at the cup of tea. Lifting her cup up she blew on the hot liquid before taking a small sip, her whole face breaking out into a smile as she did so.

_“I know how much potential to have to be great Liz”_

Placing the cup back down Lizzie proceeded to put a fresh piece of paper in her typewriter and began to type away.

Lizzie was more than just a whore. In fact she wasn’t a whore at all, no she was Elizabeth Stark secretary to Thomas Shelby and a damn good one at that.   
  


**Author's Note:**

> Guys this one was a real struggle I’m not gonna lie. It’s took me over two weeks to plan it and write. I hope you guys like it and I didn’t do too bad of a job ❤️


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